I'm still hurting :-(

[Rainbow]

I am still in shock. It seems so unreal that Ronnie has gone, perhaps because we are still surrounded by his music, his voice and his image. These things, his ever lasting gifts to us all, will live on forever.
I know in my heart that Ronnie will never truly be gone but I still can't stop the tears.

I'm not so good with words, but I will try and write my own tribute to Ronnie, the one with the most amazing voice that was haunting, beautiful, powerful, passionate, melodic and sometimes even angry. A poetic and wonderful soul.
As I read the tributes to him I weep. There is no mistaking the love and admiration for this man. Those who knew him well paint a picture of a kind, generous and caring spirit. A gentleman. The overwhelming sense of loss and grief is both painful and comforting. It's comforting to know that he was loved so very much. It's painful to read and feel the pain of many. It's comforting to know I am not the only one to cry, even though I never met him.

I never met Ronnie but I was lucky enough to see him 3 times. Each of those times I was blown away. He had such presence, warmth and seemed to reach out to everyone on a much higher level than I have ever seen a " rock star," do before. He made eye contact many times and made me feel like part of the show. It was like Ronnie and the crowd were one big ball of energy.
Of course I also dreamt that one day I would meet Ronnie. I wish I could have told him how he has touched my life.

My life long love affair with Ronnie and his music started when I was born. My dad called me Rainbow ( yes, really ) he used to play Rainbow records to me as a little girl and sometimes recite lyrics to songs From Rainbow and black sabbath. I always Imagined Ronnie to be some kind of wizard.
Growing up I went through some bad times but no matter what was happening in my life it felt as though Ronnie was always there. He was the one constant in a ever changing sea of calm and storm. His music picked me up and gave me hope. I have always loved Ronnie.

Now it feels as though part of me has died. Even though I know Ronnies spirit will live on forever and his music and image are now eternal it is hard to believe that Ronnie has died.
I have grown up now. I am married with a child but I kind of feel like that little lost child without Ronnie. I know I must carry on day by day the best way I can. I will make sure that my little son knows all about Ronnie. I will try to still carry on as " normal," even though there is a huge hole in my heart.

My heart goes out to everyone who knew him. If I feel like this it must feel 1000 times worse for those close to him. I wish I could find words to heal some of the pain.

[Rainbow]

I just wanted to come back and share my feelings. I cannot open up fully to anyone else. I feel that no one else understands, not even my husband. My hubby knows that I am upset but has no idea how deeply Ronnies death has affected me. Even writing the words " Ronnie's death," just brought a lump to my throat and made me feel sick.

I know I did not know Ronnie personally. Maybe I have no right to feel the way I feel when there are others out there who were close to him and really did know him. I guess over the years Ronnie had become part of me, if that makes sense.
Since hearing the terrible news I have not been the same person. It's like part of me has died. I have lost my fire, spark and my spirit is crushed. I was a very positive, energetic spirited person but now I feel I have no " get up and go," no fire and no energy.
I have been trying to carry on as normal but I feel so empty, as though the whole world feels so much colder and empty with out Ronnie. Nothing seems as bright and my soul is just screaming from the inside. No one else can see how I feel, only I can feel the deep aching in my heart.
Maybe it will get better in time but right now it still hurts too much for words. I feel like I have cried 100000 tears.
My little son doesn't know why Mummy feels this way. He is only 2 and just wants to play and have happy smiley mummy back but I have failed him this past week, I really have.
I'm finding it so hard to be " normal," I'm finding it so hard to be happy smiley Mummy and loving wifey. I just want to lock my self away in a corner and cry until there's no more hurt else left to feel.

I'm sorry if this is depressing. I don't even know if anyone will be reading this as no one really knows me. I just had to get my feelings out some how.

[olivious the drummer]

Hi Rainbow

Your words touched me deeply, I think you have very eloquently expressed what a lot of us feel right now.....believe me you are not alone in your grief - we are legion.

However I take some comfort from knowing I am not alone but also that Ronnie will always be part of me, he has been one of the few constants in my life and even though he is gone I feel him still here. I still cry for him, I miss him but I have his music and all the memories he has given to me and I feel privilaged to have all that.

Ronnie would want us all to celebrate his life, to share the joy he gave and to be positive about the future and what it holds.....but I also thing he would be deeply moved by the outpouring that his fans have shown.

He was a special man and we, the Dio family, are the better for discovering his music and person.

I hope with time you heal......for a feel that it the only way the void will close a little.

My thoughts are with you and everyone touched by Ronnie.
_________________
Stand up and Shout!!!!!

[Rainbow]

Thank you for your very thoughtful reply

It means a lot to me that the Dio Family are pulling together at this very difficult time. Ronnie truly was very special to have touched so many hearts. I know Ronnie will never really leave us in every way. His spirit will live on through his music, the memories and through us, his many fans. No one as special as Ronnie could ever just disappear.
Even though I know this and I know his magic is still all around us it still hurts so much.
I think it is important to celebrate Ronnie's life, and what a life he must have lead! but at the same time I feel so sad for he was taken away too soon. He still had so much more to give.
It is a comfort to know that I'm not the only one grieving. But at the same time the thought of so many people hurting makes me feel sad. Yes, Ronnie would be touched and deeply moved by the outpouring of love and grief we are all showing. I also know that he would never want to cause so much pain.
I wish I could be there at Ronnies memorial tomorrow. I believe his spirit will be very much alive and I wish I could feel close to him in some way. I will be Playing his music, sharing my memories thoughts and feelings to my husband ( although I don't think I can open up this much)

Thank you for being there

[olivious the drummer]

We will always be here, anytime you need us - you'll find us.
_________________
Stand up and Shout!!!!!

[MySweetRonnie]

RIP Ronnie

[Dennis]

I'm with all of you guys in the same boat.
_________________
Dennis

[Rainbow]

Thank you for your replies. It means a lot that you understand how I feel. It seems that we all feel the same.

It's amazing how something this terrible can bring people together.
It just shows that Ronnie is still bringing the best out in people.

It is such an emotional time. I hope we can all get through it together

[Lanello]

[Rhonda Ross]

I'm still reeling from it all
_________________

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http://www.save-a-life.org/

[olivious the drummer]

Yup......me too. I still cant belive everything that has gone on these past few weeks.......It will take some time to heal for all of us. What makes this place so special is that we can all share our feelings and gain strength from each other.
_________________
Stand up and Shout!!!!!

[Metal2767]

It will take a long time for me to heal, I know that... and things ain't getting better around here
_________________
This is your life
This is your time
Look at your world
This is your life

[Rainbow]

Lanello, I believe that anything is possible. There is no rhyme or reason to this world, but lots of hidden meanings and magic. I believe there is more to life than the eye can see. I do not know what, just that there is a higher meaning to it all.

This is going to sound so strange, but I get strange " feelings," when something bad is about to happen. I have dreamt about things before they have happened too. I had a very bad feeling before hearing about our dear Ronnie passing. I felt sick and kept telling my husband I had this horrible feeling, like a storm from the inside. I had no idea why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I couldn't sleep and was restless. The next morning I heard the terrible news that Ronnie had died. My husband just looked at me and said " well, there's your bad feeling,".

I am still realing too. I know it will take time to heal from this terrible loss. It seems so unreal. We have to just take things day by day. There will probably always be a sense of disbelief. Ronnie still had so much more to give and it is so unfair that he was taken away. We will always wonder what might have been, what would "magica 2," sound like? what about the next heaven and hell album? how many other lives would he touch and what would I have said if I had met him?. We can still feel the magic from his music, words and memory, these things will live forever.
I guess I'm just struggling to come to terms with how overwhelming this empty sense of loss is effecting me. I don't feel like the same person anymore

This Forum is amazing because we can open up and share our feelings and not feel so alone. I may not post on here much but I have read through peoples posts and shared the grief with you all.

[Reem]

do any of you think that we'll get over it? i'm not sure i can ! i guess i never will....

[Rainbow]

I'm not sure if it's something we can get over, but I'm hoping it will become easier with time. Maybe the hurt will fade and our tears turn to smiles when we think of Ronnie.
We will never forget him and he will always have a special place in our hearts. When ever we play a CD he will still speak to us. He will never truly be gone.
The here and now does feel unbearable, the emotions are still raw and our hearts still bleeding. I hope time will heal.